‘AI Crawlers Are Our Most Engaged Readers,’ Publisher Coalition Celebrates Positive Impact of AI
The coalition hailed automated visitors as the most loyal, attentive and pleasingly silent audience the web has ever known.
LONDON — Industry observers have responded to the development with the disciplined calm for which digital advertising is famous.
Sources close to the situation said the announcement arrived after a long meeting, three revised decks and a dashboard that appeared to prove almost anything depending on the selected date range.
“This is the kind of breakthrough that changes everything while requiring absolutely no change to next quarter’s roadmap,” one executive explained, shortly before asking for their comment to be attributed to “a person familiar with the matter.”
We’ve aligned the narrative with the outcomes and the outcomes with whichever numbers survived the export.
Analysts have advised readers to remain alert, particularly around phrases including “privacy-first”, “AI-powered” and “single source of truth”. A follow-up white paper will be published as soon as somebody finds the original source data.
At press time, the market had welcomed the news by changing nothing whatsoever.
